Don't date a girl who reads — Charles Warnke

“You Should Date an Illiterate Girl”, by Charles Warnke

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. 

Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.


Update: On 16 Sept 2013, this story by Charles Warnke received 200,000 page views from  Commenters there and here are discussing at length the story's meaning.  Someone sent the link to Charles, and he posted an AMA in r/books.  Look for answers there!  

The author's Tumblr, Punctuate This!, mentions this story is circulating with an alternate ending.  This clipping is the correct ending.

532 responses
I love to read, and you're right.... I just waste people's time....
Is there no hope for a mediocre man to get a learned woman?
Wow I loved this!
C.J.M.? Is that you under a pseudonym? If not this man's verse is strikingly similar to that of a friend that I lost contact with several years ago. Either way.
Girls who read are usually complete introverts, so the thought of talking probably scares them (us) half to death anyway.
Woah, let me get this straight. So you're saying I should date a smart girl because she'll challenge and engage me? And damn, that I shouldn't start dating the vapid girl I've been sleeping with out of some messed-up, misplaced sense of obligation? You don't say.
Yes, I too despise poor, uneducated people and enjoy writing about the meaningless desperation of their forgettable lives. Truely there is nothing worse than the wretched, teeming masses of mediocrity.
Loved it!
Is 'Despair' the authors middle name?
you would be a waste of time, because you date girls who don't know something about the world, about true feelings and a lot of passion. you would be a waste of my time, because I love to read. Because I still have dreams and I am strong – not so weak like you. you are such a tiny little man, afraid of women which can give you an answer and can discuss with you and is eager to know more. So just give me an answer of that questions: why do you think you are so weak? you could be equal to me if you are stronger – because you are and you just don't believe in yourself. why do you think a boring life is better for you? It is easier than a challenge, maybe. Anyway hope you think about my words and it is sad, that there are so many men outside who thinks the same like you and you support that with your words
This was really passionate and meaningful for me.
Get over yourself, you self indulgent egocentric. Not everything you think or write is wonderful.
Maybe I read it differently than most people here but... I don't think he's advocating that anyone date someone who doesn't read. I read this to mean that he is tired of women who have an unrealistic view of the world because of what they've read. It's the same problem many people have with Nicholas Sparks-esque movies/books. They are romanticized versions of real life, but they aren't reality. Constant stimulation and excitement and adventures are NOT reality. Women who expect life to be like a novel or a movie where perfect men exist, and things can be "Sensed", and where "Feeling" something is more important than actually KNOWING something. Cheating on a man in a romance novel or a movie with someone you "Love" is seen as romantic. In real life, it makes you scum. Novels and movies represent a twisted view of reality, but there are people in this world who read it or watch it and start to think that's the way things should be. It's important to be able to differentiate between ideas and emotions presented or elicited by a book, and the reality of the world. Many people cannot do so (or choose not to?). That is who I believe the author holds such a grudge against. One of the last lines really spells it out for me: "The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold" It's self-importance, to the Nth degree. The woman the author is writing about has convinced herself that she is the leading protagonist is a dramatic, swashbuckling, exciting, extravagant life, supported by interesting and exciting and important people surrounding her all the time, but of course she is the most important person of all! She is full of noble ideals, and there should never be a dull moment for the rest of her days! An "I'm too good for you" or "you aren't exciting enough for me" attitude. These are the kinds of toxic thoughts that can make a relationship miserable. It's not that the author is actually weak. That's just how the "Girl who reads" will perceive him. He will only fail her because she has unrealistic expectations. The girl who reads, is living inside a book. Not inside of reality. You can still lead a meaningful, enjoyable life and you can still meet someone who challenges you and who makes your life better than it ever would have been otherwise (And reads too!). But in order to do so, that person needs to be firmly grounded in reality. Not trying to live out a fiction they read in a book.
So girls who don't "read" (quotes because you are not actually saying they are illiterate, just that they don't take fancy to hoity toity reads) are going to leave me live dull, without passionate and challenge. Well, to you I say, get off the fucking "I'm better than thou" pedestal and realize that some of the most caring, loving, PASSIONATE people in this world don't "read". And anyone who "likes" this drivel joins company with the myopic crowd of shallow do-gooders and intellectual charlatans that control a good portion of academia.
YOU 'question' have hit the nail on the head!
As a girl who reads myself, I wouldn't date a man who doesn't read. Life would just be bland and superficial.
This is cute .... Because the girl who reads, chooses Harry potter, twilight, and 50 shades of grey. She's just as vapid as the bar skank.
I don't think he is belittling girls who read, but celebrating them. He does not use spurious tones about the girls, but about himself. His reaching feels more like deconstruction of envy. A convolution of reverse psychology. Well done.
This piece isn't an insult to intelligent women. It's an obvious retort to the idea that life should be about settling. The view of the "narrator" is facetious and deliberately opposing their actual perception of the world. Love (and life) is good when you are challenged and pushed; dull and ultimately deadening when you aren't.
Haha, holy crap, all this butthurt over a satirical piece. I'd think the armchair academics would be able to do a little critical thinking instead of jumping to the defense of their doughy girlfriends.
deko: "why do you think you are so weak? you could be equal to me if you are stronger – because you are and you just don't believe in yourself." Therein lies the problem! I and other men are human and you will always try to control us with your ambitions instead of controlling yourself.
Jelly, I have to say I am completely offended by your comment "the girl who reads, chooses Harry potter, twilight, and 50 shades of grey. She's just as vapid as the bar skank." This is a grand overstatement on your behalf. You sit there at your computer, assuming all females are pining for something they do not have. So, you assume, we all run to books such as "Fifty Shades of Grey", Nicholas Sparks books, and "Twilight"; books that we can easily slip into the roll of the vapid female protagonist and be swept off our feet by these "perfect" men. Although this may be the case for some females, this is not the case for all. Some of us choose to read books that have meaning and are well written. Books with a strong plot and characters. Books that can take your feelings and run them through a strainer, leaving you questioning your very purpose in life. These books are worth so much more to a person than a simple fantasy about what the perfect life might be like. These books do not show how happy a girl could be if she finds the perfect man and lives the perfect life with 2.5 happy children and a house in the suburbs. These books give the reader and all too clear view of the world, humanity, and themselves. It leaves the reader with a purpose in life to do better than the average person, the break free from the societal norms. This is why I choose books like "The Book Thief", "To Kill a Mockingbird", "The Help", and "The Road". This is why I read.
This pandering post reeks of elitism, and feigns intelligence with obnoxiously elaborate language.
Charles, This girl (who reads) finds this piece absolutely beautiful.
My favorite thing about this is you can tell how much people read by the comments! The people who never read my blindly miss the sarcasm of how wonderful the purgatory relationship is. I don't know how. So then one step up they may see it as a confusing display similar to a modest proposal! I for one was confused when reading this about that myself until I get to the I hate you at the end. To the final or at least me reading lever understanding of this, which is fuck you Nicolas Sparks, and other romance authors. We men can never stand up to the fictional characters you weave. Also screw you women who can't tell that those men cannot exist. Someday you will become desperate and marry the loser who still couldn't find a woman. You should have taken the real man with all his faults, back when you could choose your favorite faults. Yes I may be slightly bitter as well. but I would love to write as well as this guy. I'm hoping to find a woman who reads adventure novels with the imperfect male characters, so she understands when I fail but is along with good company for the adventure of everyday life.
lulz wut da fuck good is reading neways. id rather just watch that shit on tv
He's not being serious obviously. He making very valuable points though. Women who educate themselves are going to challenge you because they do deserve more than mediocre cookie cutter lifestyles. They can recognize a cliche from a mile away, so yeah if you're feeling lazy date a girl who never reads.
I've read better.
Great Article.......NOT!!!!!!!!!!
You really must hate truth - because you speak it out :) ' love that, it's soo true (and well written btw) Gut gemacht :D
Can someone tell me what this said? Cliff notes?
I wish I could write like good...
This was beautifully written. My main interpretation is most definitely not a critique of women, but a critique of a lot of the fiction written to them. Romance often displays the man as a machine that runs 24/7 on the fumes of their lover. They don't even have time to stop to take a crap, play Candy Crush, or hang out with friends. Instead, the entire existence of the male serves wholly to lavish love and praise on the woman (which isn't necessarily an inherently bad ideal). Basically the entire ideal of the "man" raises expectations to some fairly astronomical levels that can be pretty hard to achieve. Not every person wants to spend 100% of their time and effort on the love of their life (and that is a two-way street, which is typically represented as a fairly one-way street in literature). Anyways, I'm just rambling now but that is my basic overview of my interpretation.
BTW, I date a girl who reads: Because she's the only one who can understand and formulate what's up with life, so even though, what's been written is true and possibly will become true for me as well, I'd always do the same again - because she reads, that made and makes her the way she is - and that's what I love her for :D
I loved reading this. My husband sent me the link. It's lovely. Thank you for sharing it.
The girl who reads lives her life like it is a fiction...
Comment sections always prove to me how varied our perspectives can be even though we are reading the same damn thing. As a girl who reads, I wasn't offended by this story. "You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied." I thought this was a beautiful compliment. My guess is that he doesn't hate "women" who read, he just hates one that probably hurt him so much that he swore off all of them.
Stämmer rätt så bra
This hits the nail on the head completely for me. Thank you for expressing what I can't in a beautiful way.
I really, really enjoyed this. It means so many different things to so many different people. I wish I knew the author's intentions. To me it sounded like a malcontent ex-boyfriend recently going through a breakup with a girl who reads. The piece flows between describing her reality and describing his jealousy in the fact that she has a better life with passion. Well done good man. Good day.
i think it's ironic that this is written. and a girl who reads would probably enjoy this.
fake it til you make it. saying "i hate you" is an easy way out, a fool's way out. as hard as you work in your craft of writing, work that hard in shaping your character, your body, your perspective. then the woman you want will come. until then, you don't deserve her.
Write a smug self congratulating piece that masturbates the ego of your fictional heroic self. Vaguely mock those who life a life and have a path through it different than the one you consider ideal. Assume that all the great books of life and experience have already been written. Go the rest of your life staring out from the inside of a limiting intellectual bubble that values form over substance. The author seems to not know the difference between smart and wise, shiny and valuable or knowledge and wisdom. There is a difference between novelty and zen.
Ew. This was awful.
Holy shit, obviously the people who came here are not readers. I didn't think literary comprehension was such a rare skill, but Jesus Christ. Here's the Cliff Notes version: There are millions of people in the world, many of whom can be a moderately good fit for you. A comfortable substitute. Close enough to the real thing to do for a while, to fool yourself into thinking you could love, to build a mediocre life with. But girls who read won't settle for those kinds of relationships. They're too intellectual. Too analytical. Too well-versed in all the different flavors of love, all of the possible paths a life can take, all of the fictional characters who made the mistakes they want to avoid. The author is lamenting that girls who read are too smart to accept him - that they will inevitably be disappointed with him, because they have lived a thousand fictional lives, and the real one they seek can never compare. It's sad and tragic - and self-deprecating, I imagine, since this girl who reads wouldn't mind a date with the author. Beautifully written.
Written by a man ...
As a girl who started reading Hemingway at 14 I have to agree with the article. I expect too much (and not enough- all at the same time.)
This girl who reads also loves this. I read to constantly improve, to embrace life to the fullest, to play in the arena with blood sweat and tears and know I gave it all I got. A life partner would have to accept this approach to life and step up to the plate too.
How about: "Don't date a girl that reads because she never gets up off her ass to do anything else!".
Thank you.
Whoa, hold on everyone. If it wasn't apparent, the "reading" was a symbol. Yes, there's something to say for well-read people. But notice that the reading stands for any intellectual engagement in this context and needn't be taken literally. that being said, beautiful piece.
So much hate, this was very enjoyable. And, as a male, kind of depressing.
^^ Something about books. Can I get your number?
Duh, I would never date a girl who reads, unless she was pretty. I would also never marry, have kids, or one "career". It's nice that writing can be imaginative and flowing. Funny though, all those words can be condensed into a couple sentences.
No offense, drivel judge, 'cause this will sound a bit bitchy, but I think you sort of just proved the author's point. You seem to lack sympathy for views that don't comport with yours, and you appear to be getting defensive over the suggestion that people who read are more interesting than people who don't.. But it's obviously your lack of 'shoes' that colors your intolerant view of those who read and those in academia. Shhhh. The adults are talking.
What a beautiful piece. Mediocracy is one of my biggest fears in life and your writing really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing it.
To everyone who is angry because the writer seems to advocate being with someone who does not read... You should read... between the lines. The writer is actually advocating that we should be with someone who reads.
love this piece! and love the comments of people who don't get the sarcasm and satire of the writing- geez some of you people really don't know how to read.
A girl who reads is a woman.
@Jelly, many women who have read Harry Potter and liked it wouldn't be caught dead reading Twilight and the Fifty Shades trilogy. Back up, homie.
I disagree with this post in a lot of ways. I personally would rather find someone who acts, rather than observes the actions of others. Reading And has a lot of value, but reading, watching movies, watching sports, and watching television are still all too passive for Me. Give me the one who the story is written about, rather than the one who gobbles up the stories of others and passively accepts their view as what the world is and should be.
I feel maybe some here don't get the point this piece is trying to make. Learned women know what they want, have expectations and dreams, and are not happy with mediocrity... they aspire for more, and can easily understand (and voice to their partners) why they are not happy, likely doing so often. An unread woman is blissfully ignorant (from a male's perspective) of their male counterpart's shortcomings and imperfections, leading to a more conflict-free (easier?) life.
Kill your adjectives. Please. No fewer than 53 unnecessary descriptors (by my count) dilute this otherwise short piece. Not counting adverbs.
Super Douch-ey. "Writers" and "actors" are all the same. Get over yourselves. Please. Reading is certainly not the sole (or even best) measure of how interesting a person is or may be. I know plenty of people who "read." And many of them are complete bores.
You do realize that "girls who read" normally don't fall in this all-or-nothing dichotomy between reading and going out. You can just as easily meet a girl who likes to read at a bar or club, the same why many men who enjoy reading go out to bars and clubs. Being a person who likes to read doesn't necessarily mean that they don't also enjoy socializing.
Wow, after reading these comments I've lost faith in the population's ability to see past the surface of literature. It was obvious from the second paragraph that this is a piece on why you should date a woman who DOES read. Written from the opposite viewpoint to highlight the absurdness of choosing otherwise. C'mon people, goddamn. Bravo on this post, Charles. I greatly enjoyed reading what I imagine must be the view of so many men these days.
it hurts
While reading this, part of my brain was unraveling the theme and reconstructing it inside out. I say date the girl who reads. She will call you on your bullshit. Frequently. She will compare you unfavorably to Rhett Butler, Cyrano de Bergerac and Christian Gray. And rightfully so. Of course, we know that she would find something wrong with each of them. But, she may be able to pull you out of mediocrity and get your hero on. Even once is better than nothing. She may be able to pull something sublime out of a moment that would have otherwise passed unnoticed. It cuts both ways. Ask her if damsel in distress is enough. Careful with any reference to the taming of any tiny rodents.
Herein find displayed the terrible (wearying) danger inherent in opening up your heart, in large or small part, in earnest or mostly in jest, to the internet. Where shit may or may not be fucked up and bullshit, but most of the people certainly are.
Your writing is very good,and I must say that not all the girls expect this false hope of perfect love story, believe me that like you, we are fully aware that they are not real, it's a fantasy and that the real world is a thousand times better than a fantasy world, as a woman who reads I honestly recommend you not give up and that you'll probably end up falling in love with a girl who reads and you flip to reread this and you will laugh a lot. Good luck, and don't hate us, we read beacuse we want a little time out from the real world.
It was O.K. up until the perfunctory name dropping. I've always found it more interesting to note that Joyce was a shit fetishest rather than a "great" writer. But hey, opinions are like ass holes.
This is all nice and all, until I grew up that realised that my life consists of many, many facets of dealing with people from all walks and peculiarities. They may not be "all that" but, like my immigrant illiterate grandparents, are full of love and affection and muster the courage to deal with accordingly. In my journey of travelling through the pages of many, many books, I found that putting down that book now and then and actually DOING things is far greater. Besides, in my experience, the woman described by the author is often dramatic and may forget to take her medication now and then. Thanks but no thanks.
A very interesting piece. Perhaps it it analyzing the futility of finding meaning in life. A girl who reads is used to a exposition, a climax, and denouement. There is no such thing in reality. The chance of making a well-read girl happy is much more dire and one will end up feeling as though they've failed the relationship by not giving all they could give. One cannot give all because there is nothing to give. I'd implore those reading to take a closer look at the article and assume he is not just pandering to the 16-24 "intelligent young adult" audience. It's a very provoking existentialist piece.
Mr. Warnke, Thanks for writing this. It is so easy to let the desire for passion turn off. Reading pieces such as yours reminds me to keep on striving for "the better." I'm sure somewhere out there there is a piece called "Don't date a boy who reads."
Hello Lletsa.
I didn't interpret this as being particularly bitter; I think that the reason he says he hates her is because she introduced color into his life. Dynamic challenges, intelligent conversation, patience, demands upon him, plot twists, love-making -- what he hates is the fact that she opened his eyes to what his life could be with someone like her. And he hates himself for losing her.
Elitist and yet somehow quite charming... Not unlike champagne socialism.
This article reminds me of myself in high school. I too used to think that I knew life before I lived it. You can read about life all you want but you will not understand it until you live it. Your wife will be someone who will know you better than anyone and who has seen holes in your socks and skid marks in your underwear and that has only brought you closer. Your kids will not be perfect cookie cutter kids but unique people with problems and triumphs and your heart will break and smile while you watch them grow. So don't give up on life before you live it
This should be made into a single issue comic book.
Mediocrity is not in the reflected glance of a so-called 'girl who reads', but in the singular preference of the author to exist without context. Blind self-awareness obscures the fact that the 'girl who reads' is no different than the author. He cannot see this as his projection clouds his observation.
Woe from Wit
Almost every commenter here needs to check their perception of many of these comments are completely offensive and derogatory to all kinds of women. Stop considering what women do or don't read, and start considering how you treat women and how you discuss them.
This piece is so beautifully versued; it brought a tear to my eye.
While your intent is understood and well-taken, I am in a foul mood. Therefore, I will write something other than the expected fawning. But, I will first say that I enjoyed your prose and thought process very, very much. You write well. Now that the preliminaries are out of the way, I say "bullshit". We live in a world and in a time where every 1st-world, semi-literate sphincter thinks their tortured-artist perspective on the world will open up the planet's flower of understanding. My response is that you should all go fuck yourselves. You live in a time where our abundance affords you the luxury of endless navel gazing and incessant philosophizing. In the tapestry we call civilization, you are fortunate enough to live in the small, frayed thread that has abundant food, world communication, medical miracles, resources aplenty and the benefit of 20/20 hindsight. Before 1900 you would have likely worked your fingers to the bone to survive unless you were a member of the sliver of humanity born into privilege. You would have worked ceaselessly and likely died by 50 and watch a few of your children die before you. Worrying about your girl reading was a moot point. Even after World War 2, most living on this planet didn't have electricity or plumbing. In many cases, worrying about yourself reading was a moot point. Today, you can fret over which sub-genre of Jazz to pile into your Chinese-crafted iPod. You can labor over which broody singer/songwriter to cram into your playlist. You can sweat blood over which font appropriately conveys your pain when you upload that image of a dead bird cleverly Photoshopped with sepia tones and noise filter scratches. You have the luxury of this pointless philosophizing. Thank the deities you do. In another life you'd be sold into slavery, build a pyramid, serve "massa" or die in a war not of your choosing. Or, today, since you are far luckier, you'll work two jobs just to keep yourself in poverty while your teeth rot and you choose between feeding your children or dental care. You also have the luxury of choosing whomsoever you'd like to fuck and date and marry. If you were a woman in many backward places of today (or most places of yesterday) your engagement was your assault. So, while I fully understand your outlook here, I guess I am just not in the mood for this useless Internet grandstanding. Still, a good job. And, sorry if you are broken over a woman (I, truly, am sorry if that is the case). But, if you have the use of your body, eat daily, are not living in constant fear and have the chance to move ahead in this world, please get past your Sylvia Plath phase and rejoice in your good fortune as compared to the bulk of human history. All the best (and sorry for being a dick).
The only people worth meeting are in bookshops or bars.
Add one more girl who reads to the list of people who picked up on the meaning of this piece. It was beautiful and powerful, and made me feel understood. That passionate, harsh, self-aware love/hate is sometimes impossible to get enough of and even harder to sustain, and I can identify with the pain here.
Yeah, I love how people took this literally as a sincere critique of the learned women instead of a subtle advocacy for aspiring to find the woman who is your equal and will both challenge you but also make you happier in the long run.
Self indulgent.
Lets just bottom line this and move on: Girls who read also club ie. dance, sweat, and drink. So many losers try to illustrate a strict dichotomy of introvert(brilliant/timid) vs. extrovert(confident/stupid). Sick of it. "vacuous sophistry" No.
having trouble finding a girl that can't read...
"You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am." This is the part that I feel like commenters are missing. This isn't a complaint about girls who don't read or girls who do read. It's a step of the process of dealing with his new knowledge that he's not as good as he thought he was. It's sadness and it's anger at other people and the world and himself. It's that realization that the game you thought you were playing is actually several rungs down the ladder from the game everyone else was playing -- you were playing tic tac toe and discovered that the reason you kept losing is because everyone else was playing chess.
So, I take it you got dumped (and she's moved on, pretty damned quickly)? Instead of free-falling into cynicism (and this goes out to all bitter, dumped humans), dust yourself off and try again. Our capacity to do just that - try again - means that there's always hope for us. And when she's the right one, you'll know it. And you won't be able to fit her into a neat, easily mocked package - she'll be everything to you. Your moments together, big and small, will be your entire world. And for all those who are dissecting this person's article - for him, its more about the style of the writing, and not really the content. So don't put too much thought into it. I'm sure he felt/feels these things, but he only wrote it because it's in the past well-enough for him to be able to start expressing himself creatively. I'm sure he was pleased with the outcome, it has a nice flow. A bit dramatic, but a nice writing style, Chuck.
I say, find a woman who reads! For though she is crazy, if you are a Man-of-Mind you will find unlimited delight in her mind. And as you play with your minds, she will surprise you and enlighten you constantly. And rather then just a little, unintelligent fuck, (which is the food of the many) he will find the beginning moves to that Great Dance, that Great Fuck; the union; which ends in the bliss of true satisfaction.
Neesha, thank you. I love reading but I would never read half the books most girls read. I will never read a nicholas sparks book or a danielle steel novel and especially twilight. I don't have unrealistic expectation that there is this perfect prince charming out there. I love my husband for who he is, fuck ups, flaws, and everything that makes him the man he is. Just because I appriciate the written word doesn't mean I think I'm better than people or expect that my life is going to be this amazing work of fiction. What this whole thing is saying is that certain girls who read books (not romance novels or whatever stupid shit that everybody else is reading) are not basic bitches. If you want a basic bitch you're going to have a basic life. I'm currently reading about the riots in manhattan in 1863, in "The Gangs on New York." And guess what? Most (good) movies are based off of books and the books are better.
Don't date a girl who reads, because even if you loved her with all your heart and all your soul, she'd be bored by it. She has read it all before.
For those who do not understand that this is satirical, please check your right parahippocampal gyrus for defects.
You have reached into the heart of my discontent and bared it more eloquently than I ever could. Thank you.
wow. amazing commenters. so edgy. such off point. no sense of humor. wow.
wow. amazing commenters. so edgy. such off point. no sense of humor. wow.
Thank you for this article, it's simply amazing.
Why can't you find a girl who goes clubbing and read books? Best of both worlds!
"Girls who read are usually complete introverts, so the thought of talking probably scares them (us) half to death anyway. — Amanda about 8 hours ago" Dear Amanda, It may surprise you, but people who read come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. I'm a lifelong bookwork who is an extrovert. I enjoy social situations followed by reading a good book. Don't be presumptuous. Not all woman who read fit the stereotypical bookish librarian archetype. -Another Amanda
Damn, Chalkonthewall has some serious girl issues. How about instead of looking for a girl that reads a specific genre with a specific kind of love interest, you look for meaningful relationships with people you enjoy being with and talking to and feel attracted to? Stop blaming bad romance on your romance problems, it's pretty pathetic. Are you going to denounce Shakespeare for giving 17th century men an unreachable standard to live up to? I think they turned out okay.
@chalkonthewall................ i don't even
It's amazing how many people think he is seriously putting down the "girl that reads." I'll attempt to translate: The sarcasm is double edged, biting, and painfully obvious. It's double edged however because he wants us to know that he is dead serious about this advice, but on the other hand he is also telling us that women who read are unreachable--that they face life with all the intellectual passion of their favorite authors and therefore implying that they need a companion who is on par with their very psyche. (Which he is not or will never be.) We're talking soul-searching here. Note he refers to Joyce and Woolf--so he's very specifically concentrating on women who read profound literature. At least this was my take on it.
This was beautiful.
Sentimentalist believer trash.
you're gay
That is a lot of expensive words
I found a girl who reads. She it's all I've ever wanted and will expect from me nothing less than my best. And she will have exactly that.
Also in addition to my other comment--the girl who reads loves the boy who reads.
Fact of the matter is, I read. In fact I do so much reading I have a science degree. As does my boyfriend and he's much more intelligent than I. We're both accomplished in our own right. I can't stand people that don't read. I find them to be rather unintelligent and boring.
I love this!!! I read all of it, although I did think maybe it was going to offend me, but I realized that it is amazing and I will recommend this to all of my friends! (Especially those who read! ;) )
First, I would like to say that this piece flows gorgeously. I think many of the commenters here aren't reading the meaning behind it. If I were required to summarize this essay in one sentence, I would tell you that it is exhorting everyone to refrain from settling for mediocrity and that the voluntary education found in an avid reader prepares a person to go beyond the passionless life so many find themselves living. Secondly, Harry Potter is not vapid. The ideas presented, the complexity of the story line, and the moral implications of so many of the decisions take J.K. Rowling's masterpiece from a fun novel about magic to a rich, deep, emotional parable that teaches values sorely missing in much of our popular culture.
This post isn't about reading. Look deeper. It's about thinking. He assumes the girl who reads (& guy, this doesn't just apply to the female variety) thinks as well and can parse out the difference between who we're supposed to be and who we have the potential to be. Going to bars or wherever, meeting some person there and spending our time apathetically talking about nothing of significance because it's too challenging/ confrontational and then continuing through life passionless & uncaring is who we've been told to be because there are more important things like sports, Miley Cyrus, a Mercedes, being the most beautiful woman or the most envied man. Demanding that people be open and comfortable about thinking through things that are challenging with the purpose of bettering themselves and others around them is seen as waste of time as evidenced greatly by the comments & from what I've heard all my life. People who do that are seen as boring, confrontational, intimidating, and godforbid - complicated. Even worse, these people are seen as arrogant and egotistical because most of the people they meet steep in their own apathy & make fun of these so called arrogant people's aversion to apathy. I don't think I'm worth more than other people, but I do think I'm better than some because I actively strive to be a more caring, understanding, intelligent, compassionate, and loving person. And that striving came from thinking which was encouraged through reading novels about the true human condition, and not a romanticized version of what everyone wishes it was.
i (a girl who reads and writes) enjoyed this piece very much! Delicious!
The mediocre man cannot claim the learned girl for long, for she will forever hunt the one who lights her soul afire the way only great writers can. The one who inspires her to see the light the way Bronte can. The one who helps her see the dark like Poe. The one who teaches her the meaning of life like Frankl. If a man cannot light a spark within her heart that burns like a wildfire, he will never hold her long. She must be made to think, challenged to grow, and always kept wondering at the beauty this life contains. And none of these things requires a large vocabulary.
I only date girls who read Marx.
Wow. I'm a dude who reads, but I aint hatin on doods who dont tho! cool piece
Yes sir, Eric. Garbage.
I'm genuinely surprised at how many readers here don't seem to see what I think is quite obvious. Have they never been in love with someone they felt they didn't deserve, then later had that person realize the horrible truth that they were right? It's a story of heartbreak, plain and simple. He's outlining opposite scenarios to articulate the bitterness he feels at not being enough for the girl he fell in love with. Wether it was the only idea of her or the reality, one can only speculate. But if any guy out there has fallen for a girl he knew could do much better than him (and she eventually clued in herself and headed for greener pastures), then I am sure you totally get this. The truth is, we all grow at different rates. Some of us eventually grow to understand that. Others never do. And I think the author here is relaying (very eloquently) his experience of gaining that particular understanding. He acknowledges boldly, bitterly, and with a clever sort of sarcasm, the gaping divide between the temptation (or regret) of chasing a great love that is always doomed to fail, and the acceptance of a life of mediocrity that will exist only to save him from a broken heart. A common but complex feeling well written good sir! Congrats!
Fucking brilliant....
awesome. thanks for this,i dig it, fuck dem critics.
Clearly you've had your heart broken by a girl who reads =)
I do like what this piece is going for, but I'm a little wary that there's just a touch of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl in the author's idea of a "girl who reads".
Ah, Mr. Warnke my old friend, I interpret this prose as a wish. A sorrowful plea to give up on your own lingering flawed and idealized notions of love. I don't doubt the sincerity of your desire to believe in the words you had written here. A desire of purgatory seems like even an audaciously large favor to ask of the universe when you are sitting in the depths of hell.. We both know well that no matter what we plea for, no life lacking the idealized models that we ourselves used to describe love can ever be anything except hell. There is no purgatory for the fairy tale conditioned hopeless romantics of our generation, only heaven and hell. True love and true despair.. Your description of living a life with a devoted wife, kids, living comfortably to natural death.. in the scale of mankind, that's actually a pretty amazingly good life my brother. It's only our own twisted perspectives that expect fairy tale notions of love to not see that a devoted life partner is demonstrable evidence of real love, and not some magical special effect that triggers when fates align. If we keep expecting that anything less than our own preconceived notions of love are somehow at most a simple purgatory, then we are succumbing to the very trap that we blame the 'girls that read' for falling into.
How the fuck are some people interpreting this piece as blankly warning you not to date girls who read? You should read more.
This is a reply when the original article was posted two years ago. Date a girl who reads ~ Rosemarie Urquico Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve. Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow. She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. Buy her another cup of coffee. Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice. It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does. She has to give it a shot somehow. Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series. If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype. You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
I read and I will love you because you write beautifully and I will give you no reason to hate me because I know how you feel. I was seeing a guy recently, he pretended to be into me for the longest time but I knew from the very beginning that I could never make him happy. Why? Because he was a film student and a musician. And I know nothing about film, I can't sing, and I can't play an instrument and therefore I could never be the girl who would participate in all the things that he loved. But I mocked myself for thinking he would leave me for such a trifling reason and I proceeded to fabricate a love story of us in my head, laying out the sequence of discoveries about one another and the wild adventures we would take hand in hand in a world otherwise devoid of any connection, and realize life right now is just better if we're together. But without giving me the chance to show him the rest of the wonderful story, because I wasn't worth his time after all, for the same reason I assumed I wouldn't be good enough, he left me. But only after building up the plot so much did he let it burn before it could even develop. I hate him I hate him I hate him.
Clearly a large majority of the commentators are not reading between the lines. I think the author is representing a few viewpoints that are in need of consideration. The first view-point is about how a man will choose a girl who doesn't read because he fears being equal to a woman; a man who dwells on having power of others. The second view-point is that of a man who wants a girl who will challenge him to rise above the normal expectations and exceed them. The third view-point is about the girl who doesn't read and doesn't expect much because she knows that life is a messy and complex thing; that great expectations lead to regret and a feeling of worthlessness. The last view-point is about a girl who reads about life that is fiction; her expectations are based on fiction and can never be fully accomplished. The girl who reads sees her life as special, while forgetting that everyone who's ever lived had a life that many others had as well. The author is presenting the conundrum of life and the bittersweet preferences.
this is pure self-indulgent crap, and the general message is dumb and lacks wisdom or any trace of emotional intelligence.
Why does everything have to be so dramatic. Just find someone and get it over with.
Why does everything have to be so dramatic? Just find someone and get it over with.
Ambiguity is magic that flickers betwixt one and the other and used in self defense may triumph in contemplation.
Anyway you don't want that kind of guys. They probably don't read neither.
It's not a case of being blank. I'm a reader of non-fiction. During my study I read peer reviewed journals and articles by scientists. During my spare time I engross myself in occult philosophy, which has made me a rather serious person. I care little for fiction, save from taking my mind for a casual jog into fantasy when it grows tired but nothing more. I agree with ShroomSauce. My advice to the author is to stop moping, get your ass in gear and go on dating sites. It took me two years of searching to find my boyfriend but it was damn well worth it. He's more than a mere lover, but a best friend also.
There's going to be some very disappointed adolescents out there judging by the comments. Life does not consist of what is to be found in books, diverting though they may be. Don't find a girl who reads, find one who writes her own story. Write it with her.
This post has the "Big Words, No Plot" disease. It's decked with philosophical sentences made to sound intense and thought provoking where really there's no points. In summary: girls that read expect a good life? In contrast with girls that don't read who will just settle for a medicore in fulfilling life? That is just offensive and extremely uneducated.
what does it say?
I read this article and I understand the sarcastic meaning about how you are supposed to love a girl who reads. This point is so shallow and greatly misses the idea and meaning of love. Am I supposed to believe people have to be literate to have a relationship of any meaning? Who cares if someone reads Hemingway or even reads at all. The meaning of love is knowing you will care for your partner unconditionally through the thick and thin. You share interests with the person, and you work to fulfill the happy life you both seek. Sarcasm aside, I found this article's meaning to be way off. When you throw a bunch of descriptive words together discussing hipster point of views you end up with ellitist point of views. I read occasionally and find enjoyment in most activites. My spouse and I hold great conversations and we read occasionally, but you would never find me walking around with a checklist making sure I need a signigicant other who is well read. There is more to life than reading, it is called LIVING!
@Get Real! - I agree with your point of view, but you need to spruce up your writing boss.
"But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them." - David Wong
The unexamined mind is not worth fucking
Instead of yearning for this girl with which you have nothing in common aside from a few large vocabulary words, a better plan might be to invest some time in reading these books that make her so out of reach for you. Become the man who reads, instead of the man who writes about what he wants to have, but refuses to put in the work necessary to achieve such a goal.
The girl who reads is full of wonder. Her ambition and passion for something better than the shitty life she lives is what blossoms her and makes her beautiful. Your greatest fear should be to die with a stupid, naive girl. A girl that is happy with this horrible, stricken world is not worth keeping. Therefore, I respect your opinion, it's just wrong.
Charles! Mr Warnke! Have you tried a girl who writes? Stories? Books? Songs? Who draws? Paint? Basically, one who creates more that one who is spectator? If you have or if you will, let us know! Thanks for sharing your words anyway! Very interesting and constructive indeed! Choose a girl who can read more than written things! Who can read life, beauty around, who can read looks, smiles, hearts, emotions, air, wind, etc, etc.! And one who knows how to make you read unwritten things too! Good luck everyone!
Why does there have to be a dichotomy? Women who don't read aren't lesser beings or destined for lives of quiet desperation and blandness. My mother was a woman who read, and her life was like that, largely because of the times in which she lived and because she had kids too early and with the wrong man. I read, but my experience is closer to what you describe in this piece. My sister doesn't read, and she's happy even though she's not living a passionate, to-the-bleeding-edge sort of life. Women who read go to smoky bars too (I sure did in my youth), and women who don't read don't always put up with nitwit douchebros. Not all women who read read the same stuff, either--I go in for histories and biographies; others might prefer Harry Potter. I can't stand some of the authors you've named; others love them. You can't lump all reading women in the same bucket like that. I don't see why we have to approach the subject in such a needlessly divisive fashion. Reading isn't a magic spell. It's not cool with me to draw a madonna/whore line between reading and not reading. You have your preference, and that's fine, and you wrote about that preference beautifully, but when you try to generalize like you have here, it's just not going to work for everybody the same way.
Your parody is superb. Puts his pretentious twaddle in its place.
the bitter opinions/literal generalizations towards this piece though....why so defensive lol, just respect his preference.
This was great. I am a girl who openly loves to read, but I think it shows how hurt he is by one. Go ahead and express how bitter you are feeling. However, I know that at the end of the day, you'll end up with a girl who loves to read because you can't live with anything less than her.
He shouldn't marry a girl who reads because (a) she would be too smart for him and (b) at 13 years old he is too young to get married anyway.
Honestly, when I began reading, I thought the author was being ironic. By the end of the text I realized he wasn't. I mean, what type of person desires to enter in a relationship with a less literally instructed person, only to take the relationship by his own way? Seriously! Seriously! “I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.” Take my Austen quotation as an angry answer of a girl who reads.
I have read this once, and my honest reaction is this: It's likely the author picked a topic out of thin air and used it as an exercise to demonstrate sharp contrast and vocabulary words. It lacks warmth and a feeling of authenticity, leading me to believe it's contrived and not based on truth. Bravo. You have accomplished something here--a piece that gets readers thinking.
That sounds like me in the beginning. Thanks for the wake up call.
This was magnificent, it spoke to me
Hm...I read and I'm with a guy who doesn't. Not sure if it is any worse or better than being with someone who reads. I like the autonomy and power within my creative domain, and having noone bother it, although I'm more of a visual artist. Reading and writing have been the secret passions I've never really pursued to the extent that I like them. This piece makes me want to be a girl who reads more :)
Wow, this is idiotic. Yeah, a girl who just paints, dances, travels, debates, sculpts or writes music is such a waste of time. They must spend the majority of their waking hours reading Poe and waxing poetic about the outside world
Yes, it is possible to avoid conflict in life because one has either not shared, or not created an opinion of one's own. Many people do choose to turn off that beautiful inner voice that says, "Hey, wait a minute..." –either consciously or subconsciously– because it could cause a kerfuffle. Yet, in the middle of that struggle is the birth of knowing who one is, deeply knowing it. Philosophers, theolgians, my grandmother, and that cheesy, "no pain, no gain," 1980's exercise guru agree. Just as with a physical birth, there is no life without the pain of creation. Out of ruin comes opportuinty. But this does not mean that one has to ruin one's life to reach this understanding. It takes kindness and patience. Anyone, man or woman, who is afraid to learn how (and to earnestly try) to peacefully and compassionately navigate conflict will remain unknown to him or herself. It is the tragedy of lost potential and it touches us all. This is the kind of person who becomes so numb as to not feel the pain of others, just as they have numbed themselves to no longer feel their own pain. This is the kind of person who approves the sale of a mortgage to a person he knows cannot afford the risk. This is the kind of person who overlooks the abuse of a child, just to remain married. This is is the kind of person who votes without knowing anything of substance about the candidate she chose. Be comfortable and compassionate with yourself to hear your heart and respond to it. We will all be better for it.
I cannot believe some of the comments on here... I mean, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but golly-gee, Wally. I don't see why there are so many people taking offense to this piece of writing. I found it quite beautiful. In fact, I cried reading this. Twice. And I keep re-reading this article, finding new things I'd missed before. I love this piece and will keep sharing to anyone who is willing to read it.
I'm a guy, and the girls that read are more reserved yet less likely to pull on your strings. Thanks for fueling my passion for seeking out a literate and modernized thinker, and not some washed-out personality that's stuck in the past.
As a girl who reads I found this breathtakingly beautiful. I didn't see a true advocacy for dating women who don't read NOR a bashing of writers who set up unrealistic expectations. I feel longing for more but feeling insecure. I read how he feels exposed by that well read woman who not only expects but demands more from him, he feels he has shorted himself by accepting a woman less keen, a feeling of going through the motions and never feeling fulfilled. I see this as date a woman who reads but be prepared to be on your A game or settle for what's easy.
I love this and found it hilarious and beautiful. Thank you.
sounds like these events happened to the author at one point and the jadedness feels thick like syrup. To each his own.
I hated this piece as much as the author hates the girl who reads, because it made me feel special (alone, but special) for a second, as probably all girls that read this felt; but after that second I felt reluctant to be one of the many (probably all women who read this) who think they're special, a girl who reads, a girl that cannot be fulfilled. I do blame men for all my relationship's failures, for not being able to understand my soul; but now that I know that all girls now feel the same, it made me realize that maybe I'm a mediocre too, that maybe I'm not as special as I think. I hate this piece. I really, really, really hate it.
as a girl who reads, i am thankful to have stumble on this article. this is a compliment to women who read, to women are determined to live a life of passion - a life filled with fights and anger, but also with love and passion and bliss. this gives me hope that someday i will find a boy who reads or, at least, a boy who understands.
Dude, you sound like a dick.
Are you saying that the women around the world who have not had educational opportunities lack emotional depth?
I brushed my finger along your text and it was not all silky smooth, but rough, even sullenly uneven in places, with a healthily provocative spirit and a flash of gin in it's eyes. It's not about interpretation. Why volunteer to be either the girl who reads or the plain Jane who does not? It made my heart jump. That's it. I'm glad. Who wants to get all sticky with annoyance anyway? I was never a fan of tar.
p.s. If some readers, at least, hate you, then it would appear to me that you must be doing something RIGHT. :-)
Good Stuff! :)
I'm surprised at how many people are taking this literally...And, to the commenter who claims that the girl who reads reads Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey, your ignorance is showing.
Date a guy who thinks that reading books makes you better than everyone else.
Wow. More than the writing style, which I love, I enjoyed the symbolism & subtle meaning of each sentence. It was a bit too close to home. Regardless of the fact that reading people seem to be a rare seemingly unwanted breed, I will be with no one else.
i skipped to bottom of the page after a while this is fucking terrible like you need to be able to tell people what you want in order to know you want it like reading a book makes you smarter like you cant understand the fucking english language without reading dusty old books about dusty old men people who read too much and say too much spend too long thinking about life and not enough time living it masturbatory article written by some pussy trying to say his failure of a life is more noble because he can chronicle it in a series of masturbatory articles smacks of "people who go to parties are stupid and its fine that im never invited because im way too smart for them anyway, im going to imagine their lives are horrible and we're both equally lonely" alternatively, this is a long winded pickup piece he wrote to score with some bookworm. in that case grow a pair and just take her out, you don't need to write a fucking soliloquy to go on a picnic you turd
double post, sorry addendum: a large vocabulary serves more purpose as a tool for stratifying the meaningless, and dramatizing the mundane, than providing direction to pursuits of passion but alas, the flourish with which it is described will never assuage the mediocrity of one's life
Jesus. This has flown right past 90% of you. This story isn't about reading. It's about coping with (male) inadequacy and powerlessness. It's about 21st century social malaise. If you think this is about reading or literacy you need to revisit this and take your time with it.
Hey Charles, just thought I'd let you know some hack ripped off your piece and is making money on it for HuffPo
This is a satire, plain and simple. I don't understand how you can believe that the writer of this piece is against a girl who reads. If anything, he is asking to be engaged. Read Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal to understand the purpose of satire.
The girls who read real literature know that this is not and insult. The girls who don't read see with simplicity and react with ignorance.
It amazes me how many of you are taking this literally. It's quite clear who reads and who doesn't by the basis of your opinions.
This isn't about a political standing on the waging war between men and women. Nor is it about superiority over the genders. The author or narrator is in the process of mending a broken heart in the post. Perhaps it was the literate girl whom had left them due to the fact that their time together was droll and lifeless. The literate girl they had been with had condensed real emotions into ink on paper. They spoke for everyone and generalized because they had gotten the rotten apple out of the harvest. They were angry and made hasty claims. At least that's what I interpreted....
The first part of the story sounded a lot like my 4 July, which I don't at all regret. We had to much and we fucked, I fucked this brown beauty hard. She had a story to tell and I admit, I would love to know the reason behind her scars. She got attached, and I coldly walked out of her life. Though the middle part of this amazing story I have little in common with, towards the end, it is as if the author had read my thoughts. My thoughts on the pros of dating an illiterate girl. Ultimately, the challenge of dating an litterate woman, is intriguing. The challenge before me is greeted as a warrior enthusiastic to conquer his enemy. It is challenge with reward for which I breath. To be the man who loves her, till the end of our days... I am a warrior and a gentleman, she would soon relize that I am a conquer, I will not be her slave. To make her laugh. To make her smile, my mission.
The girl who reads is humbled by this. The girl who doesn't read is made proud. It is certainly written by someone who craves power. As much as I'd like to argue the primary importance here is on self-awareness and cultural norms, this guy clearly needs a better editor. As feminists struggle with masculinity, so too do thoughtful men struggle with femininity vs that dreaded female uncertainty. Make something happen for yourself and that issue clears itself up. Have some faith and this will sort itself out. The truth is experience breeds understanding, and however you approach experiences it is your feelings and attitudes that will matter most down the road. I know I sound like a guy who just went to burma but I'm just not sure if this is a social malaise or if he just needs to hook up with some girls of another age category.
It is surprising that so many people do not realize that this piece is a satire.
Interesting and well composed. But obvious misunderstandings of the word 'rhetoric' and who the sophists were.
It is satire, not to be taken literally or examined inside out. Laugh at it. Two things are pretty ironic and add humour: First, Charlie boy was done a massive favour by 'Girl who reads and dumps him'.... Look at that vocabulary now! Though, you do lay it on thick. Second, people who read aren't that special or above others. So many intellectuals are utterly inept on other levels of intelligence. Also I love how the first part can make your skin crawl and make you laugh at the same time!
This makes my heart hurt. I might be projecting my own situation, but to me, this is a story of a man lamenting the fact that the woman of his dreams - the love of his life - has left him because she has ambition beyond his ability, and dreams beyond his imagination. He's not saying at that anyone should date an illiterate girl. He is lamenting that something that was the headline of his life was just another chapter in the life of the woman he is writing about. The heartbreak of losing that kind of love is worse than having never had it at all. It's a truly excellent piece of writing.
hehehe, at the end of the text you write: I hate you, girls who read - Why, we are the only ones who read your text trough :) What can I say? I love my Kindle :D
A girl who read don't want diamond rings or fairy tale life because they are too smart for wasting life for such silly things . A girl who read is a fool who looks for words which make meaning for her ,the moments which speak silently .For her moon is not just a satellite for her a kiss in rain is a poem .She crave for truth .She is a fool who don't even understand that world is practical smart and formal .The world don't understand her craving for knowledge .Her zero figure and beauty pageant are real and a warm hug under the moon is impractical ,immature and she ask for too much .
I think he loves a girl who reads. That's why he's afraid of them, that's why he hates them, like we are all afraid of the ones we love most. Because a girl who reads with all that mentioned characteristics can hurt you in so many ways you don't even knew they exist when you were dating just girls who never took a glimpse on a book.
I read a lot, but I have to confess, I did not finish reading this. It was depressing, pathologically imaginative, and didn't show any signs of going anywhere I would wish to go. Generalizing is, in effect, the same thing as racism. You have taken a portion of the population, (non-readers, in this case,), and attributed hateful characteristics to each and every one of them. You have not actually met each and every one of them. Your opinions are based upon a pathetically small sample. Perhaps you might consider letting go of your vacuous sophistry. i
WAO! You almost changed my mind!
I who read have learned about empathy, forgiveness and understanding the other side of every story, more than she who don't. I am aware of my emotions, and am capable of explaining why. I will not hunt the neon lights, nor will I travel far and wide. I have cried so many times, because I am able to feel what I read - just as I am able to feel you and what you need. I know that no one is perfect, but with the right people the story will be. I will create a story that revolves around anyone but me.
Holy Moly! The wealth of opinions and interpretations offered! Whew. I'm perplexed by the people who take this at face value (don't date literate girls) when it is painstakingly plain the man clearly adores girls who read! He is merely lamenting the pain that they have caused him, what with their ability to intuit and interpret and read between the lines of life. A man at odds with himself -- for surely he would love a woman who could appreciate him the way 'girls who read' can. But unfortunately it is also these same girls who cause his greatest wounds when their affections flame out. Lovely lovely piece and masterfully written. Gorgeous.
Thank you for a beautifully expressed piece. As a woman who both reads and writes, I desire someone who is intellectually compatible, with curiosity, passion and a desire to make an imprint on the world. There aren't that many of you out there, sadly. I felt strangely complimented by this piece. Thank you.
Reading doesn't mean anything about a person.... It's a hobby. Am I a rockstar because I play guitar? No. And I'm not a passionate pseudo-genious because I read a book either.
Hahaha. That awkward moment when the majority of the readers can't read and don't understand satire.
So let me get this would rather date girl who hasn't read a book or possibly did not go to school rather than date a girl who is smart and witty and probably not boring because you can have a good conversation with her because she has a lot of interesting things to discuss with you?
Great piece. But, you should call her a WOMAN who reads - unless you're talking about someone under 18.
This is written by the type of person who believes that happiness is dependent on who you're with not who you are. His connection to reading and expectation is spurious. Most people don't expect their lives to be as exciting or event filled as a book or a movie. As Hitchcock said 'movies are life with the boring bits taken out'. Same with books . Only a fool would expect life to be like a book. Its not readers he shouldn't date its immature fools.
Of course those who call Sham not Shame are right. It is satire in the same vein as Torrents of Spring was satire. It didn't make me laugh tho; because it wasn't meant to. It made me think - about the woman I know who took up reading voraciously after marriage.
As a girl who reads I seriously don't know what you are fussing over, this piece of writing is genius and immaculate I would date you any second.
Turn, Turn, Turn, Turn............................
Dont dismiss me so quickly... I promise i won't. I wont expect perfect syntax all the time, i know that climaxes are not like the stories tell them. I won't expect a catharsis. or drama. or a life of perfection (who the hell has that anyway?). I'll need some time for myself once in a while, just to read and think quietly for myself. But afterwards I'd love to talk to you about what i read and maybe you can read it too. I won't accept any disrespect to my book choices. i will accept reccomendations, gladly. So no, I'm not all that you think that i am, but I'm not that bad either.
Yes! because a woman who reads can think.. and she would never go out with worthless men!!
Satire is Dead, if the completely brain-missing comments (self-righteous and insufferable in their own damning critique of the author's perceived misogyny/generalisations) are anything to go by. You call yourselves women (or men, or people) who read, yet so many of you don't seem to know how to read between the lines, have laid claim to an extensive vocabulary but not its syntax. If you did, you would realise that yes, the author does despise women who read, but not for the reasons you believe. He despises women who read because they are the mirror that reflects him back to himself, and he despise of what he sees.
Hi..I belong to the 21st century..and I feel sorry for people who don't read-men or I guess I'll keep reading because I am not looking for a date with unintelligent men..
Hi..I belong to the 21st century..and I feel sorry for people who don't read-men or I guess I'll keep reading because I am not looking for a date with unintelligent men..
My impression may be different here. To me, it is a really great article and is more of giving insight for both men and women. I may be oversimplified, but here's my take on it: For Men, please understand that there are women who learn by experience and those who learn by book. Everybody is different and unique in their own way, and this is not about stereotyping. The author try to express that there are many women who tend to live in fantasy. And that being said, you, as a man, need to understand the woman and take her to the reality, which could also be a beautiful things to experience (depending on how you approach and do it). For Women, understand not to dwell into books because what you experience in reality is usually different than what you think you will experienced just like in the book. That being said, there are some men that can understand such women and there are some men that don't. So as you goes deeper in your relationship, try to understand what kind of man is he and kindly communicate with them so they can understand you better. By the way, I think that the 'read' in this article means more of the 'expectation.' For example, I read an advertisement about vacation getaway, new furniture, or technology. People tend to become over excited and expect a lot (hype), and it becomes one of their goal. But once they have received/reached/achieved it, it is not as great as they thought to be. On the other side, this could read backward, as in: sometimes your fear is greater than the reality itself. Sometimes people tend to be scared of doing or receiving something new. But in reality, when the worst does happen, it is not as bad as their thought(fear). Am I on the right track here? I welcome any insight.
“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.” -Oscar Wilde
You write too well to go through with what you are saying to do...sorry she hurt so bad..
After seeing this article on a facebook page, I couldn't help but feel angry. My first reaction was why was the title " Don't date a girl who reads" why girl. However, even if it had been "someone" in the instead of girl, I would have still found it offensive, nevertheless the fact that it was "girl" in the title made me feel it even more. I understand the article was meant to be a satire, nevertheless I felt it crossed a line cruelly mocking women who did not read. His characterizing of them as boring and plain, uninteresting substitutes for bed warmers-overlooks the fact they may be women from a disadvantaged section of society ( ie people with learning disabilities, females from patriarchal cultures, economically disadvantaged individuals, single mothers) whom he should clearly not be making fun off. Or perhaps they are simply individuals with talents in other areas, such as mathematics and science such as my husband. The author's clear lack of consideration for such people in this article made me feel ashamed of being someone who reads. I appreciate the author's attractive, vocabulary-he clearly is talented, and I would generalize him as a privileged, well educated man. However, drawing on his talents to pick on women, shows his emotional development of a high school bully. Perhaps, if he were more sensitive and less self-involved a woman who reads would find him a more suitable longer-term partner and treat him more respectfully.
I must be missing something because I don't read a lot, but why are so many of the commentators so uptight about this essay? It is apparent, to my uneducated mind at least, that the author is just being facetious to the nth degree for the purpose of generating a little controversy. He has done a great job of that judging by all these comments. Maybe I'll go and read something.... just as soon as the housework, homework, yard work, kids and gym are done.
Loved "Question's" interpretation of this post ... for book readers to be firmly grounded and to not confuse the realities of life to what has been read from the book no matter how similar the situations are ...
I loved the comments , same as unanswered is not easy to fell in love with girl who reads, but same for girl not easy who fell in love in man who reads :))))))))))) someone in pair is a bit more educated... nice if both accept to educate each other
I didn't read this in the way that he was insulting or looking down upon girls without the urge to read. I though it was more that the girls who find enjoyment in reading are the girls that will hurt you the most. Because they won't settle for anyone less than the person they have in their imagination, Reading is a very passive activity. People who read a lot have to deal with loss and death in their imagination frequently and as he said 'But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.' He's saying that a girl who reads expects more and when she doesn't get what she expects she won't hesitate to just pick up a new 'book' that can give her what she needs. And thats what really hurts.
the only peopple that dont like this are the people taht dont understand it. that is the truth of it
I cry everytime I read this. I can't get enough of this.
Sounds like your ex girlfriend didn't understand that the most interesting, memorable heroes are those with flaws. :)
Thank you for explaining me the why...
I'm girl "who reads", and this made me smile.
Love it! Made me smile.
I bet the "girl who doesn't read" haven't read and appreciated this. . . . yeah i have been one of those girls who reads. most of the thing he said was true . i was living in the fairy tale that i have read. but that was in the past. well i noticed that it doesn't get me happier in my relationship if i keep comparing my partner to those perfect guys in the novels. i realized that he is not a fictional character and that i should love his flaws and unromantic ways XD because he is real . a non-fictional character . he is human , a normal human , not a perfect-guy-sketched-by-and-dreamt-by-women
I don't think either one would be fun to spend a lifetime with. Spending a lifetime with someone is hardwork. You'll never find either fantasy. Life's a more complicated story.
I think he just had a bad time with a girl who read...
should i belive you or not .. but my girl is from the type that she read !
I don't think he is bashing the idea of women who read because of the ficticious romance themes. It's not about her unrealistic views on life and love and how men are not the doting, perfect beings from stories. Her standards are not too high in a shallow sense. Her standards are high for that she won't settle for anything less than passion, stimulation and adventure. She has read novels of brilliant lives - made up or not - but is it wrong to want to live life to the fullest capacity? Human are capable of these intense emotions but barely exercise them. Her mind has been broadened by reading and needs to fill it appropriately with her own reality. She is a thinker. Complex, compassionate and wise. The writer of the piece is playing on his own insecurities and self doubt that he cannot comprehend her mind. He is in awe and feels belittled by her depth. His anger is at himself for not feeling good enough to suffice for this beautiful minded woman who reads.
u suck
In my opinion, (I see that we all have), he comes off as offensive at first, but if you take apart his sentences piece by piece and look at how he says and words things, you see that this author has a constant negative tone. Meaning that they may have had a horrible experience with a girl that read. Making this whole blog post, really just a rant. I mean he cusses for goodness sake. If he was really trying to make a legit point he would have gone about it in a professional way. I would also like to point out that he is, despit the lack of professionalism, right in some ways. There are girls and guys out there that have a very unrealistic idea of a person in their head that they think would be perfect for them. But if you have ever notice in human history, whatever we think is perfect in our head, when it manifests in reality, really isn't all the perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. Nature isn't perfect... There are lots of roads that we could go down on. But what I am trying to say is that if you are ever in a relationship with a person, that has an unrealistic idea of the perfect person for them, it is your job to figure out if that guy/girl is worth fighting for. Meaning that you, the realitic person, is willing to help the crazy reader to come out of the clouds and back to earth. But that is up to you. This author is emotionally hurt throughout the whole post. If you can't see it re-read it and look for negative words like "no, not, can't, won't.... etc"
We read to escape life - to experience new ones, so that, just for a little while, we don't have to worry about all the small things that trouble us. If you're an author (like me), you write to create a fresh, new world, where you are God and you can control the many characters your imagination dreams up. As a reader and as an author, I don't share the opinion that all men and women who don't read are boring, or unexciting persons. Personality and character traits are not defined by how many books you read. That being said, they are missing out on the wonders of reading. There's just something about that overwhelming satisfaction that washes over you once you finish reading a book. There's nothing like it in the world.
I may be in the minority here, but I saw this as a reflection of a particular relationship. When reading this I saw the story go from being lingistically very personal, about what the narrator specifically tells someone else they should do even as the narator seems far less passionate. When talking about the girl who reads, the sentence structure and grammar is more complex and abstract and rich. At the end when the narator breaks down, the language becomes less and less complex as it also becomes more personal. I found myself realizing there was nothing actually wrong with either girl, nor did he actually think there was something wrong with the girl who reads. The girl who reads is not an abstract figment but a real person who would not be tied down by the narator's cynicism and inability to grow and mature in the relationship. She left because she knew he wouldn't give her more and she knew she could "pack her suitcases" and live without him. The girl who doesn't read would be willing to settle because she doesn't understand "plot". She doesn't see how relationships grow and change, just that they are there. It's not as if girls are the only ones who do this. This line says it all: "Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise." The girl who reads would only get married because she knew it was time to end a chapter and start another. The other didn't understand such things as chapters exist. It is lovely and sad and deeply personal. Thank you, Charles Warnke, for sharing it.
I think my son should read this. And I think people need to recognize sarcasm, and I don't think he hates her even a little bit. As an aging woman who reads, writes and is (much to my family's dismay) a story teller, and is married to a man who is musical, and with whom I can have indepth discussions of film and lyrics, I felt like I understood this piece. I could be completely wrong. Oh...and to the guy who said don't date a girl who reads, she'll never get off her butt and clean the house...Yeah, sometimes. There are clumps of dog hair wafting on the summer breeze across my living room floor right now. They look kind of like the dreams of puppies...suppose I had best stop goofing off and go sweep.
He hates that he loves her. Her excitement and vibrant nature.. In saying that: he can see all that she is, therefore everything he is not. And it kills him! Strong words.
As a mathematician, cognitive neuroscientist, and non-religious, but spiritual meditator who prefers rapid-fire skimming of non-fiction abstracts, philosophy papers, and poetry to the consummation of a novel, I take offense to the implication that "girls who read” (what he clearly means is literary fiction) are the only people who possess the skillset and traits he describes. ;) I also think it's ironic that he is decrying these "girls who read" for idealizing non-existent men whose shoes he cannot fill by describing his own idealization of an unattainable, fictional woman (one to note, whom he also disdains for loving). People forget that there are two kinds of objectification that dehumanize people in a psychological attempt to separate and place them as distinct from you; deluding yourself into believing an entire class of people (in this case, "girls who read") is ABOVE you, or deluding yourself into believing a class is BELOW you. So to this "man" I say, "You, SIR, are a hypocritical chauvinist who is using a conclusion drawn from a disordered belief system as an excuse for avoiding intimacy with a female." However, as offended as I am by both the content AND the pretentious, elitist, self-indulgent, more grandiose than necessary vocabulary (did I mirror you well enough for you to understand?), I also have to say, "Job well done." It has been more than three years since this blog entry was posted, and people are still discussing it (present company included). Brav… oh, no. ;)
lol… The girls who swoon all over this piece… completely deserve the wanker who wrote it. I don’t think this guy was dumped, I think he is taking the "weasel" way out by trying to get the attention of some girl who reads without growing the stones to actually talk to her. ...did it work? ...was she impressed?? Seriously, man up, dude! Time to get out and hunt!
The interesting thing about this piece is that girls that don't read will take it as a compliment and girls that do read will take it as a compliment :-) Well written.
great read, very entertaining. Thankyou for writing and sharing
He's obviously being facetious in this piece. Here's another article I read just before this one: He is telling you TO date a girl who reads, because she has a deeper mind and experienced many lives. She has wisdom beyond her years and knows the difference between settling and finding her perfect match. It's not a critique of women who read. It's like saying, "Don't think about elephants."
oh my I loved it, only if every guy could notice the difference between the girl who reads and the rest.
Why are we- faceless and relatively unknown to each other- arguing so heatedly about the meaning of this story? Stories are meant to be told, and meant to have a myriad of interpretations (each unique to the reader). So, quell your tongues, and allow your mind to entertain the thoughts of others, but not necessarily accept them. As for my thoughts, I interpreted the story a bit differently than some, and similarly to others. I felt that the story was meant to tell the tangible and wonderful expectations of girls who read, and how it makes him want to be more than what he is now. Demanding and craving a life well lived is not a fictional story written in the clouds. It is here and now, within the palms of our hands, slowly sinking into the crevasses in our skin, and seeping its way into our bones; demanding us to change our syntax and plot. To find our own rhythm to dance and read along with. People who read know this and sense this, our minds have been made wiser by a thousand mentors and heroes and cowards. We've grown to know death as our old friend for he has crashed on the couches of our hearts in many a death (read and experienced) and in our aging. We know of no immortality within us except for our spirit, and know that mortality is what encircles us. Readers dare. They dare to dream, dare to challenge, and dare to live. That, is what makes us so accessibly inspiring, and so quietly dazzling. That, is why (I believe) Warnke wrote this article in the way that he did. Why, the girl who reads makes him realize that he cannot be what she- and importantly, he- wants to be; for he's an ellipsis inside and not a period or an exclamation mark. An ellipsis continuously running on and on about his own insignificance and insecurities, never stopping, never changing, just lingering in open space, missing that vital piece of information to truly live [carpe diem]. And it anguishes him. For, the girl who reads sparked that realization in him, and the awareness is similar to how the ant feels when a bratty kid tries to fry it with the sun's rays passing through a magnifying glass. He burns internally in a slow fire, letting it extinguish what's left instead of it sparking desire. The answers lie with him now. Whatever he chooses to find in those ruins, and however he wishes to interpret it, is what will determine a life worthy for the girl who reads- worthy for himself. A life well lived. That's all this story is, an inspiration to live a life worthy of being storied.
I am the girl who reads. I ache with my beloved friends and family, fictional and real. I empathize with those who have never left the pages of a book, yet it enables me to care for the tangible personalities around me everyday. I put my heart and soul into people I have created but will never truly meet, and in turn, I have learned the line between who someone is and who I would like them to be. I am the girl who reads. I stay up until three in the morning analyzing, discovering, learning, and falling in love, only to risk heart ache in the end. I leap into situations beyond my control and dedicate myself to the adventure that I feel has been thrust upon me, even though, in the back of my mind, I know I chose it. I am the girl who reads. I can sense an ending from the beginning. Books have taught me that all stories are finite. However, moments and memories are infinite. I am impatient with my stories, but I also have a security in knowing that the I control my stories’ ends. I am the one who decides to initiate an intermission, let the story continue, or cut it off like one of the Fates. And I will know when it is time to begin again. I am the girl who writes. I do not work well with others. I make executive decisions without consulting very many people, if any at all. I control, and if I can’t control, I get scared. I am capable of brutality and dominance, but internalize so much so that I simply risk harming myself. I only ever wish to relinquish my pain with an ink pen or the keys of a computer. I don’t always succeed. I am a literate girl. However, I find verbal language difficult to use in moments of emotion. I read people and I write who I wish to be. Left to my own devices, I would never speak but communicate with music and art amongst other things. I will love you deeply, I will hate you thoroughly, I will know who you are. But, I will never expect the same from you.
This writing is meant to be sarcastic (I think)...which I get. If you want shallow, illiterate. If you want depth and something you cannot contain, literate. It is true and sarcastic and funny. When they start to talk about the girl who reads, the vocabulary becomes a picture in your mind rather than mundane, typical day-to-day bullshit that we all deal with. It (reading) is suppose to release your mind from the walls that imprison you daily. It is great to read and to learn about yourself sentence to sentence, from beginning to end.
I use to enjoy reading alot and my ex Joe Gonzalez found that I was very intimidating! I think alot of people were intimidated by not only my beauty but my knowledge and wisdom as well. I was a very powerful leader. And since then I've been diagnosed with a well known mental illness, schizophrenia which led me down a path of a mind blowing loser, psycho path killer which I know he's reading this at this very moment as I am typing. Don't get it twisted honey. Just because I read doesn't mean I don't like to party. It is always gonna be there for me and NO, muthafucker, I am not an introvert! I love going out to nightclubs and gettin' high and doing drugs okay? Don't mistake me as some ugly woman who's probably never going to bare ur future ugly children and cook and clean for. I will one day find me a man who is successful, has money and a 6 digit bank account. Basically some one of class who treats me and spoils me right, who never cusses or use foul and "GHETTO" vocabularies, and has bad breath and body odor who probably never takes a shower and love being lazy and also very abusive. Just because I won't settle for less and sell myself short, honey,,,,you got this all wrong booboo.....stay in ur lane and don't jump too high okay Christopher Afoa! Ahem! yeah you...bye bye
The only thing wrong with this is that the last paragraph should have been about how girls who read are the ones who most appreciate and understand complex characters with real flaws.
This is the most sexist piece of shit I have ever read. And I read a lot. Let me say that again douche bag: I.Read.A.Fucking.Lot. 5 -6 books a week. No joke. No exaggeration. I hope you die soon.
Hurtfully beautiful.
I agree with Seregon up there, but I loved this piece anyway.
Beautiful and deep. A girl who reads would actually get what he meant. My feeling is that girls who read just get it all in advance which spoils everything making it harder to deal with life; because in the end nothing can be changed. Now that's just me and I'm a girl who reads.
I think the author is just trying to say that the girls who read are used to male characters who are unrealistically handsome, (sometimes) have some amazing/supernatural skill or ability like magic or fighting, are smart and always have something witty to say in order to flirt (and drive the plot), and above all are 110% committed to the girl from day one, because they have this "connection" or whatever. But, as a girl who has gone to a high school in the United states and Spain, I can tell you that everyday I see boys struggling and failing to meet this expectation. Why do you think boys are more likely to go for the attractive, "popular" seemingly vapid girls who don't get the best grades? Because (especially in the US) girls are raised hearing, "you're a princess, you're valuable just because you're a girl, and they see in the media and read about men running after and fighting over women, but curiously never the other way around. If two girls fight over a man in media, people criticize that it's masochistic. So basically girls begin to date with the idea that boys should pursue them, be faithful, protective, supportive, handsome, tall, slim, skillful, intelligent, talented, etc while the girls themselves are quite average. Not fair.
This is great. I think he's just heartbroken over some avid reading girl. He sounds like all my ex boyfriends, if they could write so well. Then again, if they could, they probably wouldn't be my exboyfriends.
I am guilty of having unrealistic prejudices about a relationship. I (we) have this expectation of a strong, sensitive man who will faun for me. But at the end of the day, we're all just people who need something from each other. We, literary junkies, just have to hitch our expectations to a realistic level that humans could reach. And, to the men who we've sapped all the life from, at least be sensitive. 'Cause by thinking we're changing you, you're trying to change us, too, and it sounds horrible. But if two people who truly want to be together works on it in a positive light, it doesn't sound bad, no?
Mr.Warnke, this was a beautiful read. I wish I could thank you in person. It was so marvelously put together I could not look away. Your use of words is something to be proud of, thank you Mr.Warnke. Thank you.
My lord, it sounds to me that this would be the woman to stay far away from. Not every woman that reads is so needy like you wrote. Most are, but not all. You can tell a girl who grew up on disney from a mile away. Just don't pay for anything and she'll eventually go to the next sucker who wants to pander to her. Get her drunk "sound" like romeo... if she tries to act like she's "special". Pay your portion of the tab and leave her at said bar for some fool to take home.
You sound like you had your heart broken by whoever this girl is.
I don't think by "a girl who reads" he means any girl who reads. I think the concept goes farther than that. He means a girl who's passionate with life, who knows her purpose, a girl who's smart and independent, who wants something more than a common place life.
this is by far the funniest read ever!!! loved the style of sarcasm it carries :)
Perhaps he is talking, in reverse psychology... He said do not date a girl who reads, yet all the qualities he mentioned (although stated in a negative perspective) appeared to be qualities of a person who would give you life some more meaning than simply staying alive. Maybe he actually meant date a girl who reads, because she makes your world come alive.
I am a woman who reads and i find this absolutely beautiful.
Date a guy who doesn't read Find him in the corner street or next to you in the checkout line, you'll recognize him by the way his eyes skim over the headline of the morning paper, the guy with the one sentence answer to your paragraph question. He will smile as he lets you talk of colors and constellations while he wonders internally when you will say something that's actually of interest to him (you will never say something of interest to him, no matter how well you know your sports, politics, cars or shaving cream brands). You'll recognize him because his conversation repertoire is incredibly small, he'll have you on your most polite behavior, but he won't engage you. Date him because he will be society's ideal of what you should settle for, date the guy who doesn't read because people will tell you that you can't expect your life to be like your favorite book. He will be conventionally interesting and conventionally fun, the guy who doesn't read will make conventional people accept you in their circles and will try to fit you into his conventional life (and if you find conventional people as dull as you find him? Well there's has to be a book titled "how to accept unhappiness" somewhere in your favorite library) Date the guy who doesn't read because of reasons, date him because you're lonely, getting old, or because all your friends who read are getting married, just know that he won't understand you, that your fingers will be aching for a good book and your ears for engaging conversation for the duration of your dates, nay relationship. Date the boy who doesn't read and see which one of you ends up despising the other first
Okay so to everyone on here that is bashing him for "belittling girls who read" obviously do not read. He is not saying that girls who read are terrible to be with, he is saying that they are beautiful and they see life beautifully and they want to experience a long and full life that they read about. They are intelligent and they know what there is and what they can have, they know the words to say to accurately express there contemptness or contentness. He is saying that your life with someone who reads is challenging and eventful and wonderful. He's also not saying that if you don't read then you're dull or boring, he's just using a satirical writing to tell everyone how amazing girls who read and understand and live life are.
i read all 263 visitors posts. i am uplifted that just about all of us read, that we engage and share opinions. hats off to those who said reading the piece made them think. life is a full spectrum experience. i hope the author of this piece simply keeps writing and inspires the rest of us to keep thinking.
263 visitors upvoted this post.